March. Waaahooooo! Spring. About time!! Warm. When??? Now I'm going to sound like that 80 yr old pocket change jingler, but awful strange weather we are having. Seriously where is the sun, warm weather, birds spreading their wings after a long winter? Hellllo Mother Nature, did you sleep through your alarm? Hit the snooze? Do you need a reminder? I can shoot you a text, call your cell? Are you on Facebook? Twitter? I'd even log back on to Myspace if that's where you're hiding. I'm sorry, but your performance as of late is simply not acceptable. And between us, your ass would get a pink slip if it were up to me. I can not wear these bulky sweaters one more day and my feet miss the way it feels to slide between crisp cotton sheets without fuzzy socks running interference. So please NOW and I'll let you keep your job... but don't expect a raise this year.
Cleaning out my little walk-in, my seasonal routine, I happily bagged up winter items still donning tags and hit the return lines. I can't "do" winter any longer. I've redecorated my living room from deep reds and tans to whimsical blues. I've changed candles to light and airy, I've stacked up closet "keepers" to bag for the attic. Without further delay, I set out to resuscitate my stale, stuffy closet. Bundled in a wool coat with gloves dangling from the pockets, you will see me smiling into a store mirror with oversized sunglasses hiding my mid-30's eye wrinkles. And next briskly pushing them on top of my head. My sunglasses are multi-purpose: the obvious- eye protection with an air of sophistication and the elementary- to function as a headband... can't slip or worse, stretch! Shedding fuzzy socks, I'm pulling pant legs up to admire the newest spring sandals.... ohhh, and maybe those open-toe heels too. Next up, check out the dressing room. With winter layers piled in a corner and a mirror reflecting one pale body, I'm scrutinizing one of the five two-piece bathing suits I adored. Ugh, not this one- the material doesn't even begin to cover my butt, oh this one makes me look flat as a pancake up top, this one is just plain strange, what size is this one because it can't be tagged right... Oh yeah, most definitely need to do sit-ups again and lay off winter baking and get a tan and then this last one will do.
Maybe I'm fast tracking but a summer of cute sundresses, little skirts with tanks, alive colors, and fun blouses is waiting... so close that I can almost grab it. I'm ready to feel like a "girl" and not a coat rack, footloose and carefree, shed those blahs and emotions of one hard never-ending winter, wear brilliant colors to make my eyes sparkle, put a little rose on the cheeks... In all honesty, I legitimately have seasonal affect disorder, unaffectionately referred to as the funk. By the time February hits, I'm struggling with my other personality- Queen Grouch. I shouldn't live in an area with four true seasons. I would be thrilled with only one. A decorated palm tree for Christmas suits me juuuuuust fine. I love windows open with curtains blowing, deck time with friends.... yum, the smell of the grill!!!! Sunshine cures the madness, homegrown fruits and vegetables, hair thrashing wildly in a breezy car, my kids crashing into dreams after a hard day's play outside, flip flops and pink toenails, birds chirping good morning, the smell of freshly cut grass.... I can see myself running through a field of daisies as I type this. HELP, Mother Nature I am losing it! Fix it now and your job's not in jeopardy, my imagination was just on defrost, now please show everyone just how magnificent you.... and me in a cute little sundress.... can be!
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