2010

I'm one of those goofy little people that put true, honest efforts into New Year's resolutions. I get that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed thought process to look at what's not working, fix it, and make me a better person. I'm a list person. Love lists, stick to them too. Sometimes I will complete a task, realize it wasn't on the list, and scribble it down just to mark it off. Ahh, the feeling of accomplishment! I feel that same accomplishment of sorts when I blog moments. It allows me to organize thoughts, evaluate what's bothersome and to "empty my brain" of its internal pandemonium. Thoughts, feelings, and moments swirl above my head just as quickly as I can type. If they don't, it's the first surefire sign I need recheck my "honesty reflection." It is similar to creating resolutions for the new year. A time to step back, look at what you're not pleased with and fixing it. Sounds pretty simple huh? We'll see.... the more I look, the longer my list grows.... but life is a process...


Here's a sampling of goals:

1. Spiritually and Mentally Healthy-
Seek God and my purpose in this life. Stop asking why but learn from them. Don't allow the lessons of healing slip away. Apply this to life, create a solid foundation for my children. Stop being angry. Accept the losses and change. Focus on how to grow.

Also learn to better handle the relationship with Ex. Create and uphold boundaries to halt manipulative behaviors. Re-learn that I, nor anyone else, should find acceptance in being treated poorly. Forgive but don't give in. There has to be a balance but it has yet to be found. All I know at this point is what doesn't work. No more attempted highjackings over who has control of my life.

2. Financially Healthy-
Rework current debts. Work at least one extra shift each pay period to offset kid's school expenses. Re-establish and look to the future. And for my kid's sake, work enough extra to go on vacation this year, even if it is a short beach trip!! (Okay, ya got me- that one's definitely for me too!!)

3. Physically Healthy-
Lay off the sweet tea.... okay, just cut back. Incorporate more fresh seasonal vegetables and have a bigger garden this summer. Get registered for cancer insurance and get that stinkin colonoscopy. *Just in case.* Start doing more physical activity. Gym expenses are not in my budget, but on the first decent day- start walking around the block with kids again. Get to the park more. Until winter's passage, resume kickboxing in the living room. Made me feel great and also ready to kick someone's ass if need be. =)

4. Personally Healthy-
Stop making excuses to keep people away. I am by no means anti-social. I can laugh and have a great time with almost anyone. But it's just getting me out. I have guilt for leaving my kids even if it is a much needed break. I know being a mom is my #1 priority, but being me should come in a close second... right? I do talk to some of my wonderful chicas several times in a week, but moments of just being *me* are few and far between. And if you're most guys, pssh, you can forget it. Oops, that door just closed! Sorry! Try again some other time... most men just don't interest me. I can't help it. I've got myself in an interesting situation now that probably wouldn't go in the "healthy" category. But I'll plead my case for it in a future blog.

5. Professionally Healthy-
I have a few work goals that don't pertain as much to my resolutions as they do to my annual pay raise. So those will be met shortly... at the beginning of the year! Woohoo! Push it on outta the way. I do have a few others, but those can wait until I'm restless with the first 4 goals.

These may not be New Year's Resolutions so much as they are 2010 Goals. I can slip up here and there, but I hope to look back at the end of the year and see most items crossed off the list with scribbles of other accomplishments filled in and marked out in the margins.