I Am Thankful For....

Last year, I posted this as a status on Facebook:

MB... is thankful for all those little things I take for granted- C's sloppy little kisses when he thinks I'm asleep, attack hugs from J when she wants to wrestle, my dog's endless loyalty... even when I forget to feed her, the garage door opener on rainy days, hot water, out of the dryer blankets, drive thru liquor stores..... Kidding, but you get the picture! Look around, we all have SO much to be thankful for!

Wasn't that sweet?? It's wonderful that we each continue to grow and evolve. I would now like to update my thankful thoughts for 2010. Here goes:

MB... is thankful for stretch fabric, "one too many" beer nights, 7:30 bedtimes for kids, "He's Just Not That Into You" (a must watch for the single woman), jet bubble baths with a People Mag, NAIR, sending a direct message to the caller when I hit the "F you" button on my cell, baseball hats for bad hair days, again- drive thru liquor stores for various necessities, having enough self control to not recreate and improve episodes of "Snapped," doubling up on birth control, and being a single independent woman learning to not give a flying fuck what others think- even during my trippy moments. If you love me, you gotta love ALL of me.  

*Writer's note: Of course I'm FOREVER thankful for my children, friends and family that sing to the music for the dance of my life..... even when I forget the steps.

Shorthand Jive

WTF? IKR? STFU! OC! BTW! SMH! LOL! LMAO! ROTFLMFAO!

Ahhhh, gotta love shorthand in an era where we don't have even an extra moment to spell out what we're thinking....  and THAT got me to thinking. LMAO.... Laugh my ass off for anyone that hasn't paid a nick of attention to the last decade. I'm sorry but no matter how hard I laugh, da booty is still there. Walking on lunch with boom boom pow friend, we often have one too many hardy laughs which requires stopping, regaining composure and roping the bladder back to safety as well. One of us will invariably cross our legs to assist in the latter. A male coworker thinks we should wear Depends and just can't understand the delicate nature of a post-birthing bladder.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye...... LMAO will no longer suffice and shall immediately be replaced by a more suited HTCML.... "Had To Cross My Legs." I'm certain it's more spot-on than suggesting a giggle can make fat cells fly off one's posterior.

Flirting 101.... FAIL!

Sooooo, I'm browsing around a local department store. Not really shopping, just enjoying peaceful time alone. Wearing my favorite yoga pants and U of L shirt, I find myself in the shoe aisle. HEELS!! I love 'em but just can't afford anything extra at this time. And to be honest, they don't exactly go fabulously with my normal day to day life. ANYWAY, so there I was, hair in a loose messy ponytail, minimal make-up on, prancing back and forth in 3 inch heels (kick ass ones at that) and my slightly faded cotton/poly/spandex blend "gym outfit" when I could feel someone looking at me. I glanced up just as the eyes were looking away. Oooh, he's handsome, clean cut... and TALL (HUGE bonus for me.) I look back down focusing on my attire wishing I had bothered to put on more makeup today. As he walks by, I feel him looking at me again as I pretend to fully inspect the heels. Look up, look up, look up I tell myself but still can't! That gorgeous man struts by one last time some 10 minutes later while I scrupulously inspect a random purse and only looking up once it's quite safe to watch him walk away. 

I kick myself. I have NO game whatsoever. I'm 36 years old, I've birthed babies, I'm responsible for people's lives in my job, and I couldn't even look up and smile. Didn't realize I was back in 7th grade... only I DID talk to boys rather easily then. Now I'm just a NERD!

Maybe I should check this book out !

Whoops!

Last week as I was parked on the floor folding clothes in my daughter's room, she was bouncing and dancing circles around me. Attempting to slow down her hyper-twirl swirl, I noted she should be helping; she's old enough now. 

Her response, "Do I HAVE to help with stuff like this?" 

My response, "Yes and you are going to start now."

Daughter, "Because I'm a big girl and that's what six year olds do?"

Me: "How old are you again?" 

Daughter: "Six. Momma, you remembered that didn't you?"

Me: "Of course I did." 

Dang, I just forgot for a minute.... was thinking she was still 5. Actually sat on the floor and did the math for a second. HOW does a mom forget this????? My bad.