I need a Xanax.... and a can of Lysol

Wooo-weeeee! Talk about being reminded how it is to be a single mom! Last week, I found my 5 and 7 yr old dear hearts starting the week off with mighty cases of Strep. Fevers through the roof and just generally pissed off moods. Antibiotics, ibuprofen, Tylenol on a continuous loop. Just when I think it's good and we're all clear, my daughter spikes a fever again that lands us in the Emergency Room at 2 AM. I usually just medicate, get us through the night and see the MD first thing in the morning but not this time. So after a chest xray and breathing treatments, we were sent home with a diagnosis of asthmatic bronchitis and beginnings of pneumonia. Continued the antibiotics, ibuprofen and Tylenol with liquid albuterol as well. It's been a few days, things seemed better but I hear coughing and rumblings in the chest and all I can think is NOOOOOO, mommy needs her own time and being at work doesn't count! I'm starting to miss myself.... is that conceited? Who cares if it is at this point!

The Ultimate Freak Out

I'm a cardiac nurse. 
I've seen ridiculously disgusting things.
I've seen open incisions with guts fully visible.
I've packed gauze into infected chest wounds where a sternum should be.
I've seen things that would give any rational person nightmares for weeks. 
I've taken it all in stride. 


But show me a tooth precariously dangling from a 7 yr old's cutie patootie mouth and watch me squeal, freak out, dance in a circle on my tiptoes and scream "Ewww, ewww, ewww!"


And watch my little girly laugh and giggle that she could make her Momma sweat and want to pass slick out.


S/N: This tooth losing extravaganza reminded me of a tip my Mom gave when I first had children. She said to always have a RED washcloth stocked in the cabinet. When a child loses a tooth or nicks or scrapes themselves, use the red washcloth to "hide the blood" and this knocks out a lot of their anxiety. Works.

Hmpf

What I wouldn't give to be able to pick up the phone and talk to my Mom today. 

(((sigh)))

Love you, miss you, always with you Momma Chiquita Banana.

When do you......

Thoughts from November 2010

When do you stop filtering what you WANT to say?
When do you force yourself to face those fears?
When do you recognize it's time to let yourself find true happiness?
When do you stop worrying what others will think?
When do you stop editing your wants/needs?
When do you admit you were damaged more than you realized, muddled through how to deal with it and move the french on?

KIDS!!

My dear, sweet, ever-so-loving little boy was sitting at the kitchen counter this evening. His 5 yr old chin so delicately resting on his hand when he inquisitively asked: "Mom are you fat?"

I looked up ever-so-shocked and retorted, "No, I'm not fat! Why would you ask me that?"

And he responded ever-so-matter-of-factly, "Well, you don't LOOK fat but your butt sure is getting bigger. Haha." (And yes, he actually said "Haha" instead of laughing.)

And I ever-so-stated, "Go to your room.... And stop looking at mommy's behind."

Don't You Ever, Ever Feel.....

So many women in this world think they are "less than" and I'm no different. After doggy paddling the past few years, I found an anchor attached to my life jacket. It's not EX, the job, the kids, the house, various guys I've dated. It's far more personal and intimidating. It's ME. It's my way of thinking, it's how I internally negative talk. It's how I view my world. It's how I perceive myself. It's about my looks. It's about my personality. It's about how I *think* I'm never quite good enough. I didn't used to beat myself up like this. After talking to many girlfriends about self doubt, negative talk, insecurity, I realize this may just be you too. And along came P!nk at a great time, when I needed a song to blare in the car, sing off key, whip me back, to recognize what I was doing (and psssht, I've been paying a shrink to do this. The $1.29 download price would have been a MUCH better deal! Only kidding, the shrink is wonderful too- but that's another blog.) Enjoy the girl power moment ladies!

In The Dead Of Winter, I Forgot How To Blog...

Over two months?!? Can't believe I haven't blogged in over two months! I've had so many stories to share since, quirky thoughts and cumbersome annoyances to vent out but yet, never typed a word! It's been a hectic few months- holidays, snowdays, crazydays, workdays, courtdays... The winter funk has nearly sucked out my life and most definitely would have if I didn't white knuckle death grip the date of February 8th close to my freezing mind. You see, I'm a lucky girl and will be heading to Key West with my awesomely McAwesome brother and his equally fantabulous wife. YESSSSSS!!!!! Warmer air..... actually seeing sunshine..... maybe a palm tree or two..... consuming an overly sweet and equally overly priced tropical beverage= heavenly moment in one helluva winter! Thank ya Jesus!